Friday, March 22, 2013

gross times ten-to-the-nth-degree.


You know those nasty insects, the ones that look like mosquitoes on steroids?? 
I just found out it's name.
It's called a crane fly.
I also found out they do not eat mosquitoes, which I am semi-disappointed about, but not really, because now I have no excuse to feel bad if I kill one. 
ANYWAY, one found it's way into my house today, and because Jeff was busy with other things, I was left to fend for myself. I usually consider myself pretty tough, but when it comes to hazardous-looking bugs I'm 100% squeamish. 
So as I'm holding my rolled-up magazine above the creature, adrenaline pumping, contemplating which exact moment to strike (NOW! ...now? No...NOW!), I randomly made a mental note of how fat it was--obviously due to the ginormous feast it must have had--and I shivered at the thought of cleaning up EXTRA GUTS off my wall. AND THEN...I took a swipe (and screamed!) and missed (insert maximum anguish). But having foreseen my lack of commitment might cause it's escape, knowing it could smell my fear, I had enough sense to attack from above, thereby limiting it's escape to a downward position, and giving me another chance. And so, with Wyatt as my cheerleader (kill the yucky bug, Mom!!) I took another swipe (and screamed again) as I annihilated that nasty thing into a juicy paste. I almost cheered, but upon the immediate examination of my kill, I noticed...specks. Little, black specks...or...BUG EGGS??? All over my wall and all over my Ensign?!
(Insert extreme squeamishness.)
And then I had the answer to it's fatness.
IT.WAS.PREGNANT.
And in my house, ready to give birth.
I immediately reported my findings to Jeff and demanded an award for saving him from little crane fly larvae being laid in his ears and eating his brain (insert Jeff squeamishness). 

You may now go on to have nightmares.
Good night.


1 comment:

Grace said...

That's disgusting. Are you suture they don't eat mosquitoes? Where did that myth come from? I've let too many of those survive on the mutual understanding that they'll devour stupid mosquitoes..